Ex number 1

I recently decided to contact two old flames. These are two men who I think about every now and then as I lie in bed.

In the back of my mind, I am wondering if either of these two men would be willing to simply impregnate me.

Last night, I spoke to Evan for the first time in almost 4 years. Evan and I had a brief affair when I still lived in California. A tech salesman, Evan knew what he wanted and how to get it. He pursued me actively, and when I finally said yes to a date, I was so swept away (and perhaps, vulnerable), that we ended up sleeping together that first night. When we met, I was still within a year of my shattering break-up with Marcus (a 4 year, live-in relationship). I felt incapable of commitments and emotional ties. When I got my fellowship in NYC, I ended it.

Here's the thing. I said I wouldn't settle, right? It's not as if I am manufacturing attraction, necessarily, just that the criteria by which I might judge who is right for me has altered as I've grown older (and closer to menopause). So maybe Evan will now fit perfectly into my 37 year old single life?

Here are the things that bode well for revisiting this situation.

Evan really, really liked me. Really. That feels good. It works for me.

Evan is a highly sexed man. He wants sex pretty much all the time and would do anything to get it. That works in my favor.

Evan is tall. Smart. Attractive. He's also a very young-looking 43 (or 44?). Good genes.

The outcome of our conversation is that we are meeting up in NYC.