I need to keep focused. That great first date from last weekend (see Maybe It's not ALL that I want) was only a first date, after all, and Ex Number 1 lives in California (whereas I am in the Northeast). So. Do I have any other options for starting a family "the natural way"?
Matthew is more of a friend-with-potential than an ex. We became close when I lived in New York 3 years ago. At the time he was involved with a woman who ended up cheating on him. We had an attraction, but never acted on it, primarily because Matthew decided that he wanted to try to patch things up with his girlfriend regardless of her infidelity. Two years later, they broke up for good. No surprise there.
For the last year, Matthew and I have been dancing around our feelings for one another. We've seen each other intermittently in New York. In June, I decided to throw caution to the wind and invite him to stay with me for a weekend. He liked the idea. No pressure. Just friends. Maybe things would evolve organically over the course of the weekend?
They did. By the end of the weekend it felt to me as if we were romantically involved. And yet, very quickly after we parted, we both reverted to our previous, friends-only stance. I am having a hard time thinking of Matthew as a boyfriend, much as I care for him. It's an odd transition for me--friend to boyfriend. I guess I've always come at relationships from passion-first, friends-second rather than the other way around.
So, I'm not jumping out of my skin, wanting to be in relationship with Matthew. But there are many great things about "us." We care deeply for one another's happiness and well being. He also "deals" with me just right--he's compassionate, gentle, emotional, and almost devoid of egotism. He genuinely respects women. Could I make a family with him? Should respect, ease, and friendship take precedence over passion at this point?
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