Saturday, January 23, 2010

33 weeks!

Thanks for the advice on my last post, ya'll. It's not entirely resolved, but I have made my needs known to my mother repeatedly and I am hoping that everything will work out. My dad might drive her 3/4 of the way up, to my brother's in Baltimore, and then fly home to Georgia from there rather than driving her the entire way. It's all a bit sensitive, particularly because of my dad's challenging personality and my mom's role in the family as supreme peacemaker. Ah, family dynamics.

7 weeks to go! Or not! Maybe just 6 weeks! Or 5! (I'm not going to go earlier than that...:) I am feeling fantastic, except for my feet. The ligaments underneath the heels of my feet are so sore. I can't stand for long periods. Luckily, I have an excuse to always be sitting, even at work when everyone is standing. Yes, it's a weird malady, but I seem to get the weird ones. On the list of pregnancy would-be woes, it isn't so bad.

Feeling very well. Here and there I have been a bit, well, vile and angry. It comes out particularly in my car...with the completely inane and insane drivers in my tiny little New England state. But those moments seems to pass and then I'm kind of amazed at how even I am feeling. I don't know why I'm so surprised. ? In some ways, I've felt better being pregnant than I have felt in long, long time, both emotionally and yes, even physically (the banishment of endometriosis is like a dream--a temporary one--but a nice one). Part of me wonders if I should be more worried! Anxious!? Freaking out? I've even passed the holy-shite-I-have-to-push-a-baby-outta-my-va.gina stage.

Mostly, I just want to meet my little buddy, my new best friend. DYING to see what he looks like!! I've been doing a casual mental survey of people-with-kids and it seems like more often the first child looks like the daddy. I know, that's very unscientific. I'm of course quite curious if Fitzwilliam will look like known donor, or like me. I admit, I want him to look like me, of course! But on the other hand, known donor and I, well, we kind of look like siblings. When we are together people think we're related (I promise you, we're not). Weird, huh?

Prep: I've been cleaning things out like mad. Cleaned out my desk last weekend. Years worth of bank statements---shredded. That felt good. This weekend, I cleaned out my RIDICULOUS vanity, which consists of literally years worth of un-used makeup, most of it obtained via various freebie "gifts" when I purchased something else. Apparently I went through a nude lipstick stage. That's just wrong. Also cleaned out the two medicine cabinets in my house. Cleaned all the blinds (there are many). Does this constitute nesting perhaps?

What's left to do? Get stuff (baby shower next week--so looking forward, not just to "the stuff" but to being surrounded by wonderful, supportive friends). Read some more. Do more squats. Practice the kegels.

I've read about 5 books at this point. Favorite by far: Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. She offers such sane advice. Loved it (and recommend it---even with the slightly annoying Britishisms thrown in for flavor).

Oh, and I have a NAME. It literally came to me in the middle of the night after much much turmoil!

Monday, January 11, 2010

No Dad No How

So, my mom is coming for my labor and birth (if such things can really be planned) and she's been trying to figure out, logistically, what makes sense. She lives far away. The plan she's come up with does NOT sit well with me, but I'm not sure how to handle it. Basically, she and my dad are going to get in the car and start driving up the eastern seaboard, stopping to see some sights and to see my brother, about a week-ish before my due date. They'll be within striking distance if I go into labor and can scoot on over.

What I DIDN'T sign up for is having my father here---in my home---while I'm in labor. No, no no. This is not part of the plan. My dad and I are not close; in fact, his presence stresses me out in big ways. He's kind of a baby (a big, adult baby)--needs lots of taking care of. Exactly the opposite of what I want when I'm about to give birth to a real, bonafide baby.

Therefore, if they arrive and I'm in the middle of laboring at home, this is NOT good. I've expressed this in the nicest way possible to my mom, but she insists that he will leave a.s.a.p (he is going to fly back to their home and leave mom here) but obviously "will have to stay at my place for at least one night." Um, what about a hotel? My place is somewhat small...not a lot of privacy. If I go into labor while my dad's in the house I have a horrible picture in my mind of me, resting between contractions, and my dad yelling from the other room, "Hey Jo! I can't get this remote to work!" and etc. Ok, that's going a bit far. I'm sure he'd be respectful-ish. But the whole idea is obviously stressing me out, which is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of how a lady should feel WHEN SHE IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH.

The timing is obviously out of my control, but I would really like, at the very least, for them to make the gesture of booking a hotel room for his arrival. If I'm not in labor, fine. Come on over. But if I am in labor, dad goes to hotel. It's a bit awkward and delicate, but jeesh, he must understand, right? You would think.

Be honest: am I being selfish? Am I crazy to not want my father hanging out in my living room while I'm in labor? If I'm not crazy, can someone please tell my mother and father that?