I've been on the west coast in my favorite city on an actual real vacation for the last week. It's been great. I realize how much I want to move back out here. Making it happen is another thing altogether. Meanwhile, back at work (while I was conveniently away), layoffs were announced. I am safe, thank god. But a close colleague--who is pregnant--was laid off. It seems very unfair. And I'm sad about it. This, followed by a panicked day or two, where I've realized how INCREDIBLY unprepared I am if I were ever to lose my job. I need to be smarter and better about my finances. A real wake-up call.
Hanging out with my friends and their kids is fun. I've also had a lot of "me" time, and finally, had dinner and drinks with my ex and continuing "potential." Boy, was I in a mood. I think I said absolutely everything I could have possibly wanted to say. Directly. I told him about ttc. So it's all out on the table and FINALLY I think I can move on. Things are not happening between us---I guess I've known this, but I needed to really talk it out and say everything I needed to say. Shew. How many exes do I have, you may ask? Are there any more lurkers who I need to confront before I move on? Guess what? This is it!! It's over!
One of my favorite things to do is sit in a busy cafe in this city, drinking great coffee (maybe a cupcake!) and reading the newspaper. Yesterday, while doing so, I found myself in the midst of a "new mommy" group. I should've left as soon as I realized it (the group grew and grew as I sat there). But I didn't. I guess I was feeling strong and was more curious than anything. Ok, after about 15 minutes I admit I couldn't take it anymore. But I am not bitter---I know that I can have this if I want to. It's just a matter of moving forward with the possibility. So in a way, it was good for me. This process of "thinking" has taken much longer than I expected since last August when I started making plans. But it is what it is.
Ok, one more day of vacation and then back to reality in the world of lay-offs.
I have been bad at commenting but I am still following everyone. Cheers to you all!