So the big news, I guess, is that I told my family the identity of my known donor.
All of my fears, whatever they were, and however unfounded, were completely for naught! First of all, my second brother, the one who knows the donor from college, had completely guessed about a year ago. Apparently he put two and two together (my known donor has a blog--it's a picture blog, very different from this type of blog, but nevertheless apparently he posted a picture of my cat...in my condo...about around the time of conception.). Ha. My parents had also narrowed it down to one of two guys. They were pretty sure it was who it was...I guess I don't have THAT many close male friends who I talk about with family (known donor is one of them). The most surprised was my oldest brother and his wife. Probably because they just hadn't thought about it very much.
So now that the word is out it seems a much much better route than the secrecy! Everyone was extremely happy to know and it was all kind of matter of fact...no one even had any probing questions for me. Knowing my beautiful baby boy is enough, I guess. And I agree.
And it's also helping me to conceptualize the future with O and his donor daddy. I hope to reveal DD's identity fairly early on, and for him and his bio relationship to O to be known to O. This is really what I wanted all along, and why I went with a known donor in the first place. So I am hoping that will work out. For now, to the questions from other kids I will reply with the simple answer of "O's dad doesn't live with us," or something like that, and leave it at that (THANKS everyone for the comments on that---it was so helpful). Interestingly, O's 4 year old nephew didn't seem the least bit interested in whether O had a dad. I think because he's always just known me as Aunt Jo (alone Aunt Jo), it doesn't occur to him that there would be someone else involved. Ah, yes. One of the benefits of having been single since before he was born. :)
The rest of my vacation in western NY state was wonderful. O was surrounded by absolutely adoring family every day. I wish I could provide that for him all the time. I mean, I'm adoring, of course. But there's only one of me.
For pics and cuteness, see my other blog!