O is growing so fast. He was 7 lbs, 19 inches at birth and at his 8 week appointment he was 12 lbs 10 oz and 24 inches! Oh, my! I am already having trouble carrying him in the car seat. Here's some evidence...at 7 weeks.
We are doing really well. I've had some challenges with O's eating sensitivities and as of last Thursday I am off caffeine. This is monumental for me (I even had a cup of coffee every morning throughout the pregnancy). Beware the uncaffeinated new mom. I am such an addict. .. Anyway, his tummy troubles are obviously not serious, just unpleasant at times (profuse spit-up) but, given the weight gain he's really doing well and thriving in every other way, as well. He is a wonderfully calm little boy. I am so so lucky. On many fronts.
Emotionally, I am also good. I think the hardest thing for me has been something I didn't really think about that much. It's my desire to share this amazing little baby with other people. I think the lack of the partner for me is really a lack of a person to share the beautiful day-to-day developments with. It's so special, so miraculous. I talk to my mom every day, but it's different to experience it, vs. describe it. I've been a bit sad about that...not so much the lack of one particular man, but more generally the isolation of the experience. It's definitely an experience worth sharing.
I have found myself craving my family. My brothers have still not met O, and I am getting really sad (ok, annoyed) about that. One of them will met O in a couple of weeks when I go to Chicago (yay). I have extended several invitations to my oldest brother, and he is trying to figure out when to come (it's taking him long enough). I suppose to other people 2 months isn't a long period, but in my life, and O's life, it's an eternity.
I guess there is a secret fear I harbor that O will somehow notice the lack of family even at this young age. I guess I am projecting...I can give him so much love and I know I'm all he needs right now. It's me who needs the family. I just hope I can provide him with enough love so that he doesn't feel the lack that I do.
I've seen many friends and even been out and about in the evenings and I enjoy it so much, partially because I can see O through other people's eyes as well as my own, and experience my own joy over and over again as others meet him. It's wonderful. I spend most of these encounters beaming. So things are really great. Just missing family close by. I guess I knew that would be hard. And it is. But O keeps me full of happiness every day.