Exciting and Not So Exciting

Well, I have three of 'my ladies,' that is, my online ttc ladies, who are currently in a tww. This is very exciting and I would say that March is a very auspicious month...crossing fingers, ladies!

I don't have a huge amount to post about, as I continue to be working my fingers to the bone. This period of having-no-life work will end in late April....so I'm just holding on until then. Unfortunately my body starts to react to the stress. The worst of the worst is the insomnia. Last week I got 3 or 4 hours of sleep on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. It's pretty much hell...when you know you have so much to do the next day and yet cannot get to sleep. I've tried myriad drugs, over the counter ones (I can't take A.mbien--it freaks me out and makes me whacky). The following do not put me to sleep (but succeed in making me very groggy the next day): T.ylenol Pm, Actifed (it used to work), even muscle relaxers. No dice. I finally tried good ole' natural Mel.atonin last night and got 10 hours. Thank you lord. This is my new best friend.

Strangely, I am pretty functional (although not very cheerful--or pretty) on very little sleep. Maybe I'm practicing for a little one! ?

So, yea, this is what I've been focusing on. Not very exciting, is it? However, the end result of all this work will be a beauoooootiful exhibition and BOOK ! I can't wait to share it!

Social life is a bit off. I had a weird falling out with a friend recently (nothing major, more of mutual moving on from the friendship). However, moving on from one friendship significantly decreases my social life. So my closest friend in town and I decided to take action. We pooled our address books for all those women we've met and thought "I'd like to get to know her better" and started organizing drinks and other events (my friends is really more the organizer, thank god). Tomorrow we're doing a very Sex & the City-style brunch with some new lady friends. It's always good to make new friends, and it makes you realize that there are always interesting people out there if you try. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to cross over to males, at least not in my town, and at least not yet. Numerous address book searches don't seem to uncover any interesting males who would like to go to drinks or brunch.... sigh.

Signing off, cheers !

Swimmers Humor?

My donor is a really self-effacing, shy kind of guy, and it took him a little while to get up the nerve to talk to his doctor about being a donor and get his stuff analyzed. So I've been waiting around kind of patiently, I hope, and I finally got the news Friday. His doctor, with whom he seems to have a hilarious, friendly relationship, left the following message--transcribed verbatim--on his phone.

"Hi pkd. This is Dr. soandso, how are you? Um, we have your 2emen analysis report and I’m happy to tell you that you have the largest volume of schpuze that I have seen in a long time. You are quite the stud, and your volume was 6.7 milliliters—anything over 2 is normal, so you’re more than three times the normal, sort of, schpuze amount; and your, um, concentration is, um, 154 million per milliliter—20 is considered normal. Your 2perm count is over a million, when 40 would do. And 59% of these guys are wiggling—normal’s 50, but I think the other 41% can’t wiggle so well because… they’re crowded.

"Anyway, um, so I think that you are probably incredibly fertile, and anyone would be really lucky to have your 2perm. Okay? So that is my distinct medical opinion. And if you need a copy of this 2emen analysis report just call my office and we would be glad to send it off to you. Okay? Maybe you should frame it. Bye."

Funny, yes? This probably made my very unassuming pkd's year--and why not? He deserves a manly boost of confidence for all his efforts.

The Shining

Hey there! I am feeling so much better than I did about 3 or 4 weeks ago. Thanks for everyone's kind and supportive thoughts.

I am ridiculously, relentlessly busy at work. Actually, I took on a second job to try to pay down some debt and get ready for baby. So in addition to my regular work, which includes a fair bit of teaching in addition to exhibition planning (plus a publication due in about a month), I am teaching a college course two evenings a week. I really considered carefully whether I could handle the extra work (and teaching is such a notorious time suck). But in the end I felt I couldn't pass up the opportunity, given my debt and future plans--not to mention the current climate...any money is good money. One of the only ways someone with my training can make extra money is to teach (academics have few marketable skills :) )--so when the position fell in my lap, I really couldn't bring myself to say no.

That said, it is KICKING MY A.SS. I spend every Sunday, all day (just finished) preparing lectures. And during the week, it ain't easy. Last Thursday, I had a brutal day at work where I barely sat down, and then had to go teach at 6pm with forced energy. It felt like prison. I actually enjoy teaching and even prepping....but there need to be many more hours in the day...especially the ones when I actually relax my body, exercise, or laugh a little bit. The phrase from "The Sh.ining," when Jack Nicholson is typing the same thing over and over at his typewriter, comes to mind: "All work and no play makes...Jo...a very dull girl." Add the crappiest winter weather in years, + cabin fever and who knows, I may just end up a crazed axe murderer. Let's hope not.

Back to the feeling better part. I'm not quite ready to jump back into my plans at this moment, but I am feeling recovered enough from my depressing holidays to move on. I have a couple of things coming up. First, a combined work/fun trip to California in March, and second, hopefully, a real vacation. I am looking seriously into going to Europe for 2 weeks in June (specifically, Bordeaux), working on my French and tasting wines. I feel like this is something I need to do for myself before I start ttc. After that, I'll revisit (at least that's the plan as of today!) I'm still in good touch with bab.ydaddy and all is really great on that front.


And then, men. I am still seeing third-time-around guy just casually, very casually, and I have an old flame who I'm going to see out in California. I saw him over the holidays (long story...and yes, it did contribute to my confusion and depression). I am not expecting anything to come of it but I am looking forward to spending time with this guy in March.

So that's where I am. I've become terrible at commenting but I want everyone to know I am still following your stories!