Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Back on the Bandwagon

Back from my trip to California.

I have some truly amazing friends there. I talked extensively with my two closest girlfriends about my plans. Both of them are new mothers. Both are in relationships. They couldn't be more supportive of my plans. In fact, they are actively encouraging me with all their hearts. And the stories! One tried to describe to me what it was like the first time she held her son. This is someone who wasn't sure she wanted children until just recently. Tears all 'round. The other told me how her 1-1/2 year old girl cupped her face between her hands after mommy stubbed her toe and asked, "mommy o-tay?" More tears. The intensity of their love and connection to their children was so evident, and so wonderful. They are two of the people I love most in the world, so it was incredibly moving.

It was different from the other talks I've had with friends and family. Those talks usually amount to me convincing myself I can do it, met by the usual "it will be hard, but you can do it," questions, practicalities. But these friends didn't even consider the practicalities (it was nice). To them, there was no question that I would adapt to the situation and that, obviously, whatever I had to do was completely and totally worth it.

One of my friends is having a difficult time in her marriage. She has said to me many times that a relationship doesn't necessarily make you feel less alone as a parent.

Internets, I'm getting there. I'm going to be back on the ttc bandwagon very soon.

Oh, and I had a date with my ex in California. It is very clear that things are going nowhere unless we happen to live closer together at some point. Makes sense, obviously. And now I know. I can move on.

5 comments:

Billy said...

Happy to hear about your amazing friends! How wonderful that they can support and encourage you fully, without talking about it being hard, etc.
And am happy to hear you are back on the ttc bandwagon :-).

Dora said...

Awesome! Totally agree that being partnered isn't always easier. I have become friends with a new mom (4 month old) in my neighborhood. Last weekend she confided that her husband is an alcoholic. Her parents are pushing her to divorce him, but that so much to deal with when she's still postpartum. Even if she does divorce him, he's still her daughter's father. He's in her life forever. Right now, I think she's evying my path.

Of course it will be hard. Most worthwhile things in life are! But the joy ... I WANT THE JOY!!! For you, too.

Meg said...

I love your wonderful friends! I agree 123% that you adapt to situations and rise to the challenges that life throws at us. Sorry the ex thing didn't work out differently.

battynurse said...

Yay for supportive friends. And your friend is so right that being with someone else doesn't guarantee that you won't still be a single parent in some sense.

meandbaby said...

You've been awarded the Honest Scrap Award!